I was raped by god.
No one believed me.
They thought, I made it all up.
I was a prisoner.
What else could you expect.
But the god story?
What the hell was that, they thought?
six years in that hole of a place.
And 6 month before I would be free to go.
Then it happened.
I said to him, that I didn’t want to be a part of this.
He said to me, it was an honour to be chosen by God and I shouldn’t be that foolish.
I would have his son…
And then he raped me.
I told the prison warden what had happened.
But she plainly laughed at me: ‘Good one, Rose, good one, come again!’
At first I was that mad about it all, that this could happen to me.
I knew for sure, that I was pregnant. Doctor had told me so.
I’m not very religious.
Had thought, that one could make up one’s mind, whether or not to believe in god.
And, ‘no thanks’, that would mean, you’d be left alone with the whole shebang.
At first I wanted to have an abortion.
Spoke to the Doc about it.
But then, don’t quite know how, a priest came to me.
Said, he was from the Jesuits and he’d heard of me and my difficult situation.
Said, they could bring my boy up.
No need to have an abortion.
I was that mad about it! told him where to go!
It was my right and no one else’s, to decide whether or not to get an abortion.
Even in prison!
And what’s more, I didn’t call for a priest.
In all my time here, I made sure that they knew, that I had no time for THEM.
Yep, I’m out now.
And I didn’t get an abortion.
I thought to myself:
No hassle with a father, so why not keep the bub?
Only me to know.
I had me a wonderful boy. A cheery fellow.
And at times, I wonder, what if I’d accuse god?
And they‘d have to charge him for ungodly behaviour.
© Corinne Othenin-Girard 2000